You’ve Gotta Know When To Leave the Party
March 9th was the 11th anniversary of the death of the Notorious B.I.G. Biggie was an emotional rock for me on the day my first husband died. He was there for me in a way that I would have never expected. As his publicist, we had our ups and downs, but what he did for me on July 15, 1995 will forever live in my heart. (You’ve got to read my book to find out what that was).
I always say that I'm God's Girl…for real, for real. Biggie's murder was an in-my-face reminder of that fact. I had been riding around in that Suburban all week with Biggie, sitting in the backseat on the passenger side. We had fulfilled all of our label obligations when I realized we had to attend two more parties. One more party for Vibe Magazine Saturday night and one to attend on Monday night. Something inside of me had been screaming to leave and I tried to convince Biggie to head to London and take care of his business.
“You don’t need to stay for this party,” I told him.
“Ma, come on. It will be fun,” he told me.
“Baby, we don’t need to go to any more parties,” I said.
I left on the first thing smoking. I didn’t stay for the party. Biggie did. He was murdered that night after the party in the Suburban that we had been riding in the whole week.
In life, you’ve got to know when to leave the party. Though Biggie was literally at a party, your party could be in the form of a friendship, a job, or any relationship that might be destroying you physically and/or emotionally.
On my book tour for Faith Under Fire, I hear women talking about how they are tired of being alone. I hear you when you tell me that you know that your man is cheating but you don't want to leave, you can't afford to leave, you don't want your kid to be without their daddy. I hear all of that.
But here’s the deal. There are relationships that you know you need to put in the trash—be it that man, or that needy girlfriend, or that negative dream stealer. You're looking for someone to co-sign what you already know to be true. Watch and pray! Then, pray, plan, and pack.
If you sense your man is cheating, abstain now, gather facts and get tested...again! No Test, No Touch! That’s my motto.
My advice when someone finds themself in a situation where their partner has HIV, is to do whatever you have to do to STAY negative. I was on Ed Lover’s show on New York City’s Hot 105.1 and a male caller said he discovered his lady was HIV- positive yet he didn’t want her to feel bad by not having sex with her. That would be one of the enemy’s greatest deceptions! A partner shouldn't feel bad if this decision is made. I say to you: Stay negative!
You have to love yourself enough to not worry about making someone feel bad. This is your life we’re talking about.
I would love to hear from more of you about what you think. I'm currently in the middle of a 50-city tour for my book and will definitely coming to a city near you. Until then, remember what I said…No Test, No Touch! And doing what your mama told you—saving yourself for marriage—is still the best advice for women and men.
And if I had to say Amen, I think I'd put one right there.
Blessings...LJ
PS: Check out the New York Daily News article about me on the “Hot of The Presses” section of this site. Please write me at: LaJoyce@karenhunterpublishing.com
Oh Oprah
“For God who commanded the light to shine out of darkness hath
shined in our hearts,
to give the light of knowledge of the glory of God in the face of
Jesus Christ.
But we have the treasure in earthen vessels,
that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.
We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed, we are
perplexed but not in despair, persecuted, but not forsaken;
Cast down, but not destroyed
2 Corinthians 4: 6-9
Oh, Oprah!
To whom much is given, much is required. This biblical statement has been true of America’s leading multi-million dollar media maven, Oprah, for many, many years. She has proven herself to be a self-less philanthropist and has won the hearts of millions with her generosity towards strangers in need. With her new show, millions more are drawn into her seemingly self-less spirit and her greatest out-pouring of random acts of kindness in the reality phenom, “Oprah’s Big Give.”
What is her secret? Well, two years ago it was the book The Secret that had Oprah all abuzz. I watched her host a book club meeting with those who had read the book and they all felt “enlightened” by some ambiguous higher power. I watched her encourage the audience to host Secret parties. I watched and I prayed.
I have watched Oprah with one eyebrow raised ever since she openly proclaimed that each morning she pays homage to her African ancestors. I find this particularly troubling in my spirit. I love my lineage of ancestry because it has brought me from a mighty long way, for sure. But paying homage to them…that’s where I get off of the train. First, I pay homage to no man—Pope, Dahli Lama, or any ancestor. That is idolatry! Second, I have NO idea whom my ancestors worshipped. Maybe they thought it was best to worship trees instead of God and His son Jesus. Maybe they were accountable to no one. Or even worse maybe they practiced witchcraft. I thank my ancestors for taking the lashes so that I might be free, but the rest, I just don’t know.
So when I see Oprah, who is seemingly a modern-day Pied Piper, leading millions down a path of ultimate destruction, I pause to pray, because beginning with her ancestor worship, I saw this coming. The new book that Oprah has endorsed by Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth is teaching that there are millions of ways to get to heaven. Oprah has in effect denied the teachings of the Bible and of Jesus Christ by asking her viewing audience, “How can there be only one way to heaven or to God?” The Bible says, “deny him, he’ll deny you.”
Isn’t it just uncanny how when fortune finds you, praise of our Father in heaven falters?
Isn’t it just like the arrogance of man to think that there is another way to get this thing called life completed without the one true living God?
Contrary to popular belief, as stated in this book and emphasized by Oprah on her world-wide web cast New Earth classes, the man on the cross is you and me, and that there is no sin. Really?
This is where Oprah and I completely part company. I wonder what Oprah’s immediate Baptist ancestors in Mississippi and Tennessee feel about her newfound declaration of who God and his son Jesus is? She’s lost her mind. There is no sin?! Why, because she says so? Is she so completely convinced that you can get to heaven just by your good works?
BEWARE: Honoring the creation and not the creator is the seductive, anti-Christ spirit in full swing, which says, do, do, do! You should know that because Jesus died on the cross for OUR sins, that says done, done, done!
Seek God. Read your Bible (it’s not enough just to have one, READ IT!). Join a Bible-teaching church. And, be thankful that God is the SAME yesterday, today, and forever. I am devastated by those who want to reduce God to a lower standard because it is painful to live and walk upright…then, they worship the reduction.
Isaiah 35: 8 reads…
A highway will be there, a roadway, and it will be called the highway of holiness. The unclean will not travel on it. But it will be for him who walks that way, and fools will not wander on it. Holiness is still real! Holiness is still right!
I’m turning my face to the wall in prayer on this one. I’m praying for God to give Oprah a revelation of hell—a preview of her coming attraction for leading millions astray. She has been deceived. I am praying that she have a divine revelation that can lead those millions toward the stairway to salvation in God through Jesus the Christ. I am praying for an intervention that forces Oprah to her knees and she will know it was no one BUT GOD!
Know this…There is nothing new on the earth under the sun. There is NO secret. What God can do, what He’s done for others—He’ll do for you.
…And if I had to say Amen, I think I’d put one right there…LJ
(email me at: lajoyce@karenhunterpublishing.com)
